Anger in the Library

All sorts of emotions flood through the library, it's a public place after all. Last weekend a jittery "young man" (that makes me sound old when I'm not) with a black hoodie pulled up (yes, inside the library) approached the desk. He was interested in finding books on cargo ships. I knew it was going to be a different kind of experience by the lengthy pause that ensude after asking him how I could help. He just looked at me without smiling for several awkward (for me anyways) seconds (seemed like minutes).

As I expanded the search to freighters, transportation of goods, and something else that I can't recall at this point, he became increasingly agitated, swearing under his breath and moving from foot to foot, side to side staring intently at me. I found a few leads and headed out into the stacks with him. He paced ridiculously close, nearly stepping on my heels which is unusual because I'm a fast walker.

When I began scanning the shelf for the items in question I was distinctly uncomfortable with the lack of space between us. I did my usual dramatic sweep of the arm, and said "Let's see what we have here," hoping to move him aside. No luck.

I tried to engage him in conversation to distract him as I continually side-stepped. "Is this for school, or ?" And he cut me off declaring, "It's for my career!" I simply nodded and said "Oh, I see, well there are a couple of organizations you could try, some internet sites, and the central library downtown probably has the most extensive resources..." He stared at me and said, "I want to start here, ok?"

While I scanned the shelf he was hovering much too close and continually saying "fuck" in increasing volume. There were small children nearby. No one seemed to be taking notice at that point however. Anyways, this basically continued through out our search as we moved to several different areas of the library. He radiated tension and despite his frustration and anger made slightly inappropriate small talk and continued to invade my space.

My gut reaction was to finish up as quickly and smoothly as possible. I look back now at this point and wonder if I should have been more assertive. I know I was just hoping to avoid confrontation. If anyone else had appeared to take notice of his language, I would have said, "Please don't swear, there are actually children around here" ...but as it was I let it slide. If I was older and wiser I would have said, "Please give me a little space here."

As it is, I feel like a dismal failure in the assertiveness department. I'm assertive in many other areas of my life (as some of you know). I have been known to speak up at grocery stores, (I once said, "You are the worst cashier I have ever had" which I felt quite bad about later though it was fully justified), I have told pompous professors what I really thought, I have told parents that their children are bloody nightmares (in less offensive terms), I have stood up to an arrogant school principal, I cried my way into free veterinary treatment, I pushed a rude man away at a dance club and his drink went flying as he hit the deck (he must have stumbled, I'm not that strong) and the list goes on and on. I am also a big advocate of personal space. I don't know why, but I have a fairly large bubble for such a small person. Anyways what do you think about this? Where do you draw the line? How do you?